So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
