I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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