remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
