Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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