Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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