Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
