I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
no you cant smoke seaweed
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
