Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
