its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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