Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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