I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize