I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
