if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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