yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
