just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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