i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
