why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
