i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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