I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
