At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
