yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize