brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
