Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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