He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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