you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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