3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
