Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
