Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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