lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
