i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize