I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize