I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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