this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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