You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
