haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
