no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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