I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
