Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
