theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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