i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
