he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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