I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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