I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
