PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
