From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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