Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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