he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
