you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
