Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
