Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize