I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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