walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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