can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
