fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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