You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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