That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You are a genius and a whore.
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