Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
wow bdsm is so cute
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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