That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize