I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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