All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
