OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize