He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
