I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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