from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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