we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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