yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
